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It feels like it happens once a year. There's usually one Sunday during the NFL's regular season where the league goes absolutely bonkers. Or, as my friend Damien Woody likes to say "the NFL is drunk". Well it sure as hell felt that way this past Sunday when week 9 went thermo nuclear crazy. Up was down, black was white good was bad and the known became the great mystery. Don't believe me? Let's take a little stroll thru what we saw shall we? The Dallas Cowboys, fresh off a road win with their backup QB, got their franchise QB back for Sunday's game with The Broncos in Dak Prescott, and proceeded to play like the expansion Cowboys of 1960. Dallas had scored 36 or more points in every home game this season and were shut out until the final few minutes of the game: courtesy scores if you will at the hands of The Denver Broncos who didn't want to be completely rude guests. Dallas hadn't lost since week 1 and Denver hadn't scored more than 27 in any game this season, so of course The Broncos scored 30. DRINK!
But that's just the tip of the rocks glass. The Buffalo Bills came into their game with the lowly Jaguars as the highest scoring offense in football, so of course they didn't get a single TD in a 9-6 loss. And making things really crazy? The Bills Josh Allen was sacked by, intercepted by, and had his fumble recovered by... this man:
HIs name? Josh Allen. Thus making Sunday the first time in NFL history a QB had been sacked by someone with the same name. The interception by Jacksonville's Josh Allen and the fumble recovery of The Bills Josh Allen's fumble by Jacksonville's Josh Allen were just cherries on the weirdness Sunday. (side note: Buffalo's Josh Allen was the 7th overall pick in the 2018 draft and Jacksonville's Josh Allen was the 7th overall pick in the 2019 draft). Oh, did I mention The Jags were 15.5 point underdogs in this game? DRINK.
WE'RE JUST GETTING STARTED, SHAKE THAT MARTINI!. The Cleveland Browns spent an entire week dealing with drama of star wide receiver Odell Beckham Jr wanting and getting his release from the team. So of course they go to Cincinnati where The Bengals were favored over a division opponent for the first time in 3 years..and absolutely spank Cincy 41-16, the Browns best performance of the season. The Bengals Joe Burrow came into Sunday's game as the only QB to throw at least 2 TD passes in every game this season... so naturally he threw 2 interceptions Sunday including a 100 yard pick six. DRINK!!
Don't even think about sobering up, the blender is still going for the margaritas. The Titans lost their best player for the season when RB Derrick Henry underwent foot surgery and then traveled to Los Angeles to play arguably the best team in football, The Rams. Final score,Titans 28 Rams 16. And then there was the sheer lunacy of The Chiefs/Packers game. Aaron Rodgers out because of COVID so Jordan Love makes his first NFL start at Arrowhead, and some how throws for more passing yards than Patrick Mahomes. The Chiefs actually scored only 13 points...and won with DEFENSE??? SHOTS FOR EVERYONE.
Now for the next 5 days there will be talking heads on every singe platform you can think of bending themselves into human pretzels trying to explain why this game turned out the way it did and what invaluable piece of film study gained them this nugget that shows this is the reason and they've figured it all out. Spoiler alert, it's just gas bagging. Here's the only thing you need to know: Football is weird. The ball is a strange oval shape that can cause some crazy bounces and the 17 game season can too. The outliers are the teams like The Patriots with Tom Brady or The Colts with Peyton Manning or The Steelers with Ben Roethlisberger who routinely win 11-12 games a season. This is how football goes. So instead of listening to preening pontificators just understand the game is hard, the shit goes sideways occasionally and over a 17 game season the best teams find their level. And, have a drink, Damien's buying.
